OK I love our pediatrician, Dr. M. But he's gone way too far with this urine collection request.
There is nothing wrong with Babycakes. At her nine month appointment, Dr. M declared her to be fit as a fiddle, in the 90% of height, 70% of weight, and, as usual, "off the charts" with her big ole head. Her hemoglobin levels are great and she's "advanced" in development, with the walking and the talking and pinching food and whatever else.
NEVERTHELESS, he still wants some of her pee. He handed me the pictured "Pediatric Urine Collector" and nonchalantly said, "Just bring us a urine sample."
I held it like there was already pee in it, and said, "What?" I said this like a Valley Girl, if you can imagine it, with my face all gnarled up, pronouncing the "H" in heavily, and extending it out for several syllables so it was more like, "WwHHHHHHaa-aaa-a-aaat???"
So he took it out of the package, and showed me some adhesive strip that went around the oblong hole and said this:
"Just adhere it to her labia."
No. Absolutely not. He says it's for a routine test of her kidneys, but LOOK AT HER. She's fine. Her kidneys are fine and (imagine my voice like a fifteen-year-old at the mall) "None of my FRIENDS have to collect their babies' PEE!"
No other pediatrician in the Bay Area seems to request a bag of baby piss, nor require any other moms to adhere ANYTHING to their child's LABIA for the love of pete.
So it's sitting on the counter making me feel guilty. But not as guilty as I would feel watching my poor child wander around my home with a plastic bag adhered to her labia.
3 comments:
Yeah, definitely an interesting request from the doc. I can say that J's pediatrician has never mentioned wanting to run any similiar type test on her and really, what are the odds that you'd get her to leave that plastic bag on for any length of time? Nil, I tell you, nil.
As for Africa Hot, I'm in south Florida and yesterday our central air died. Sweet mercy, it was 88 outside and 85 inside my house. I had poor J running around all trashy-lke in diapers and bare feet in the driveway since it was cooler out there. $500 and five hours later, we were back up and running. I don't know how the original settlers managed.
Um, yeah, that was 'trashy-like,' not trashy-lke...some editor, huh?
Ugh, that's terrible about the heat! And hey, if a diaper is too hot for J, may I interest you in a pee-collection bag she could wear instead?
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