If breastfeeding were a dude and we were going out for the last four months, today is the day I told him, "You know, I don't think our relationship is going anywhere."
And he'd say, "But Dr. Sears said that breastfeeding provides dynamic nutrients for your baby, and that she WON'T THRIVE without them."
And I'd sigh and say, "I know," and I'd think about giving him another chance, but then I'd listen to my heart for about one millisecond and say, "But I don't like you."
"Now that's the most selfish thing I've ever heard," Breastfeeding would say, "It doesn't matter if you like me. You HAVE TO GO OUT WITH ME because it's the RIGHT THING TO DO."
And I would say, "You may be the right choice for me, but I'm tired, I'm a pissed off crappy mom, and I'm exhausted from trying to make this relationship work."
"Again, it's all about you," he'd say.
"No, it's also about Baby V, man, she doesn't like you either."
"But I'm the best possible nutrition you can provide her."
"But when we use formula, she's so much happier. She gets truly tired and drifts off to sleep with a smile on her face."
"You're just NOT DOING IT RIGHT," Breastfeeding would pipe up indignantly.
"Listen, you're a nice guy. You're also the best guy, I recognize that. But the world don't move to the beat of just one drum..."
"Are you really singing the theme from 'Diff'rent Strokes' to break up with me?"
"What might be right for YOU, may not be right for some."
"What if we just pump? You don't have to breastfeed, just pump."
"It takes different strokes."
"You're just succumbing to the formula companies' greedy pitches!"
"Different strokes."
"You're always going to wonder if Baby V lags in any particular area because she didn't have ME."
"Different strokes to move the world, yes it does. It takes different strokes to move the world. MMmmmm...."
And with that, our world is moved to occasional breastfeedings and a full-on love affair with formula. I've learned that just 50 ML a day of breastmilk can help keep up the antibodies, etc., but otherwise, we're moving in with formula. Tschao.
8 comments:
If mama and baby are happier with formula, then formula is what is best for mama and baby. THE END.
A big giant middle finger to anyone that may imply you lack as a mother because you don't breastfeed 24/7. I've been guilted into continuing it (by MIL) and it sucks. And I hate it. So you do what's best for you and Baby V, and as long as the two of you are happy, that's all that matters.
So glad to hear that you have found something that WORKS. And now I get to feed her more often :)
P.S. sorry for hanging up so quickly tonight. Darn police!
Lex and I breastfed for six months, but he started getting supplemental formula by his third month. By the end of it, I don't know who was more ready for the nursing to be over: he or I.
For long trips, dry formula packs very well in gallon-sized Ziplocks, one bag of formula inside an empty bag to protect your clothes. Maybe include the formula label between the first and second bag.
First off, Dr. Sears and his sanctimony about breastfeeding, baby wearing, attachment parenting, et al can just go piss off. That book is a guilt trip in disguise. Though I'm glad he agrees that teething causes a low fever, because that has been our experience and it's nice to have validation!
And, remember, my husband: poster child for exclusive formula feeding.
Finding a routine that works for everyone will make for a more happy, rested household.
Kate
Exactly what 'celebrate woo-woo' said...totally.
Hell, I lasted 6 weeks BF with J before I waved the white flag so you're a rock star in my book :-)
If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Thank you guys!!! And thank you for NOT posting any "helpful suggestions" -- people can shove their elderflower (or whatever) where the sun don't shine. I know people are trying to be helpful, but STILL with the COMMENTS as I relate our struggles. I tried to nurse Baby V again this morning and she practically just laughed at me.
Well, I think you should just.... and then try... and if that doesn't work....
heh heh heh
Good for you!
Glad you can embrace what you need to do for sanity! I think that is the #1 need of a baby... a sane mom...
: )
-m
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