Thursday, August 28, 2008

I win.

Karla posts gross photos of her son. And what is motherhood if not a constant competition? But I felt I had nothing comparable to how impressively gross her son was.

Then there was this morning. Sounds of the baby slowly waking, then little babbling happy noises. Open the door, and find this....

26 comments:

Marz said...

I've heard stories on me doing this as a baby. THANK GOD there is no record of it!

Cindy Nguyen said...

oh my god, that is so gross and so funny!!!! Poor Baby V, someday she is going to see this evidence and be so grossed out. What cracks me up is the expression on her face. She is having a party with it. Who needs toys when you have poop? Thanks for the laugh, and reminding me what I have to look forward to hopefully....seriously, i'm still laughing...

Steph said...

Words fail... except that somehow Johnson's beauty still manages to shine on through.

Jbeeky said...

That. Is Grosstastic.

karla said...

Okay, I don't think I'm out of line when I say it's not too late to just scrap this kid and start over. You can have another kid--even if that means just stealing one from a playground. But really, I think this one is beyond repair.

No one would blame you.

You're now the subject of my current blog post. (As if you haven't suffered enough....)

Toffee said...

I believe this is where the expression "Holy S>>T!" comes from.

Z's mama said...

well, this is definitely a post that is only for the mommies....I learned that when I showed the pic to my dear hubs and to A the babysitter. I think they both came about thisclose to puking. But I still find it hilarious and strangly cute.

DoulaDee said...

All I see are two gorgeous blue eyes. ROFLMAO

Welcome home!

wywh said...

Yeah, that shade of brown really makes her blue eyes pop! Maybe you should offer her some eye shadow so she doesn't have to go to such lengths.

soapbox.SUPERSTAR said...

I am here from Karla's. O.M.G.!!! Were you gagging?

I mean I would have done the same thing and run for the camera first before worrying about if any of it was in my child's mouth and whether they were contracting anything silly and harmless, like E. Coli, Salmonella or Hepatitis A.

But then... I would have freaking gagged. I am the polar opposite of a Fecalpheliac! Blech!

Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

It warms my heart. She's just so pleased with herself.

Kate

This Was A Bad Idea said...

I'll see your poo face and raise you a walker seat full of chili-style diarrhea over at my place...

Lannae said...

Glad you made it home! Oh, and this photo wins big time!

karla said...

One technical question I'm curious about--how did she manage to get her clothes off? The diaper would come off easily enough--but the clothes? Unless she was just sleeping in a diaper, perhaps.

So answer that question for me, and then take my advice: From now on, she must sleep dressed head to toe in tightly wrapped saran wrap, so she can't get to that diaper no matter what. Staple the edges shut for good measure.

Shaken Mama said...

She was sleeping in just her diaper.

Funny that you're obsessing, K. Good luck recreating it and trying to compete with me. I see that you don't like to lose.

karla said...

I can do better, I just know it. Now quit bugging me; I'm busy feeding the baby prunes.

Gruppie Mama said...

It really is quite craptastic. And she looks SO pleased. And the wack thing, is strangely, I'm not grossed out. I should be, but I'm mostly amused. Because my kid only did this once. And Mr. H won that prize. I was gone with Chispa at a bday party.

Mrs. Whoozyer said...

OK---first of all--is this why you were positively preening when I gave Johnson a big hug and kiss today? With the secret knowledge that I was unknowingly hugging and kissing caca?

I have to say--the best part of this photo is the pig in shit heaven grin on her beautiful mug.

Also---now do you get the original title of my blog? You know--the title that grossed you out and yet you powered through and loyal friend that you are continued to read? I wouldn't be mad if you wanted to rename your's "Writing in Poo".

Also ditto on the husband thing. I am sitting here nearly falling out of the recliner laughing and Whoozyerdaddy skedaddles as quick as his daddy legs can carry him after viewing this craptastic crapsterpiece.

Gross for you but awesome for us. Way to go, Johnson!

Mrs. Whoozyer said...

Dude---I can't stop coming back to and staring at this picture. Riveting shit, it is...

Shaken Mama said...

And I'll bring this discussion to a close by acceptin everyone's gratitude. Because now we all can say we know exactly what a "Shit Eating Grin" looks like.

Christina said...

Oh my god.

Chase poops in the bathtub every single night these days (all because one night I actually uttered aloud the following fateful words: "I can't believe Chase has never pooped in the bathtub."), and each time I have to quickly scoop him out before he can grab it.

It never occurred to me that this could happen in his crib. I am not going to say anything about that.

Gruppie Mama said...

For the record, Mr. H and my fabulous mother in law P and I are all crying we are laughing so hard, reviewing this fine fine foto of feces. Mr. H was not grossed out. Apparently he wins the Husband Olympics. Oh, and MIL says that children who play with sh!t grow up to be well adjusted grownups. This wasn't Mr. H. I won't name names, but Mr. H only has one sibling.

Benjamin Rubenstein said...

yummy

Kimmer said...

I have a hard time with gross...being preggo and all. I seriously would've had to call 911.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"POO...we have a poo emergency, please hurry"
I am afraid cps would've stayed right there in poop until I talked his father into fixing the problem. I hate to think what I would have agreed to in order to make this go away.

Oops A Baby said...

I know myself and I know my boyfriend and I know that our kid (though just a tiny embryo know) is subject to many many embarrassing photos, because it is almost certain that the poor guy is going to be hilarious klutztastic. I can't wait. Hilarious entry!

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