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Sunday, January 16, 2011

I'm leery of some homeschooling families

In the homeschooling universe, boys with long hair are not as well behaved as boys with short hair.

Certainly there are polite young gentleman with ponytails and hellions with crew cuts, but in general, if I -- right now -- had to choose a husband for a daughter based only on their hair length, I'd go with the very shortest haircut.

My hypothesis is that some boys' long hair goes along with a general air of permissiveness in those boys' families, which results in more spastic, annoying behavior.

(Note: my own children's hair is rather unkempt, so I am not preaching from any pedestal here. Case in point: Birdy, below.)

I've just noticed in general that there is a greater potential for meeting feral weirdos in the homeschooling community.

The majority of women I meet who are homeschooling their little ones are fabulous, hilarious, supportive and relatively normal. However, there is a fringe element with which I was previously unacquainted.

Let's just say I've met a lot more people with interesting conspiracy theories since I started rubbing elbows with others who've kept their children out of educational institutions.

For example, the lady who told me this week that cancer was cured in 1928 but the government made it illegal to treat it (the cure involves vegetables) because the pharmaceutical companies want to make money selling chemotherapy drugs.

If I wanted to, I could get offended by her point of view -- I don't think that Rannie's doctors let her die because they wanted to make money, for example -- instead I breezily told her that I couldn't really see the logic there and pretended my kids needed my immediate attention.

I want my kids to grow up to be extremely productive, disciplined members of society who will, if I am ever-so-lucky, bring their families over for Sunday dinner every single week.

Is that desire related to my choice to homeschool? Yeah, a little bit. I think keeping my daughters away from unattended mean girls, repetitious lessons and universal cheers for mediocre work is a good thing.

But apparently,  I'm still going to have to teach them to steer clear of the long-haired weirdos.
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